Have you ever been overwhelmed by love? Please do not misunderstand. I mean unconditional love which is so vast you can't resist and could never repay it. Love like a hurricane that floods your carefully wrought balance of give and take. Love that plunges you into such a sea of kindness all you can do is float along and marvel at its vastness. You can't contain or understand or categorize or measure it. It seems presumptuous even to say you receive it. As if you have a choice. As if. You cannot contain it; it has no fathom. You cannot encompass it; it is beyond you. And yet.
And yet, you find yourself the object of it. Like molten gold poured into a plastic cup. Like the ocean tenderly tipped into a thimble. Love that crashes you into quietness. The only thing you could say, in a whisper: God, I am so unworthy. This is love that humbles; something so painfully beautiful. Joyous despair. Tender terror. I cannot contain. I cannot comprehend. And yet.
And yet, I am loved. And yet, the God who holds back His glory, knowing it would kill us, pulls back the curtain enough for this glimpse which slays self importance and overcomes all you are.
You hold your head in your hands and silently sob at the disparity between your capacity and the sheer greatness of what you are freely given. Oh, this is not a love that puffs up. Harrowing sorrow comes with seeing your own efforts try to stand up next to it. What a fool I was to think I could repay! What a painful delusion to ever think I could earn it! And yet.
And yet, O still, small, thunderous Voice, and yet You are with me even to the end of the age. This love never leaves you nor forsakes you at any moment. This love took and withstood the searing, Almighty wrath meant to burn up unworthiness. For you. In your place. And this love knows your heart. Knows it! Floods and overwhelms and overcomes it!
What can this love not do? What CAN this love not do? Have you ever been overwhelmed by such love? The love that you surrounds you, that you cannot always see?
Oh yes. You are loved like that.